Does your partner stare or oogle at others? I’m not talking about those that are being sneaky with pornography, that’s for another day.

Here’s the scenario:
You two have gone out on a dinner date. You look and feel awesome.
Later in the evening a very attractive person sits at the table beside you.
Your partner can’t help but stare at those long tanned legs and busting out breasts or a very sharply dressed to kill, charismatic man.

So how long is too long?
From what I’ve researched, after 3 seconds, it’s considered a stare.
It comes from asking others “How long does it take before you start to feel uncomfortable when someone is looking at you?”

So, what are your thoughts, what are your feelings and what can you do about it if your partner stares for 3 seconds or less?

You may start asking or commenting to yourself questions like:
1) hey, I’m over herrrrrrrre
2) do you mind, you are with me right now
3) what does she have that I don’t
4) he looks awesome and I don’t have his wallet size
5) man, can we leave
6) stop it

So, when you take inventory of what you’re thinking, it will tell you what you need to do to empower yourself.

Are you insecure? Are you obsessed and focused too much on the other person instead of actually being in love with that person? Is it a matter of trust?

Here’s what you can do:

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So it’s come to that point that breaking up and moving on is your only solution. I’m going to approach this from a non-married, no children regard.

Your partner has cheated and you’ve discovered this.
You realize it could never be the same and so do they.
Personally, it’s time to move on. There will be someone out there that can respect you and love you for all of your goodness. You will find someone who shares the same values, can communicate and love you with you as you’ve never experienced before. You will heal.

Or the other scenario - you’ve both tried to make the relationship work. You’ve tried talking it out, tried a life coach, a psychiatrist, a psychologist or have simply reached out to others….may it be a man or woman “of cloth” or friends and family.

It’s time to let go and it’s time to start healing but how?

Here is a great article of the 8 emotional stages you need…

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Here is my first attempt at giving a brief overview of tidbits on a cheating partner, cheating spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. Here’ some things to think about so you can move forward in life.

What will be your decisions on living with your cheating partner or spouse? Maybe these suggestions can shine some light on your situation.

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If your spouse cheated (not just a boyfriend or girlfriend), would you ever consider the reason good enough as they muddled through voicing their events of their affair with you?

See if these are any good reasons as to why your spouse cheated:

1) They were going through mid-life crisis.
2) They were drunk or buzzed.
3) Someone came on to them in he bar.
4) The secretary pushed for it until they broke down, they were weak.
5) You don’t give me enough sex.

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Are you sure your spouse or partner is cheating? Have a look at this checklist to help you determine before you make your approach regarding whether or not they are cheating. If you are the cheating partner or spouse, visit my post on what to do if you cheated.

1) A cheating spouse might leave much earlier for work or arrive home much later a few days a week. Of course if they have started a new job or received a promotion, the new demands may require such.

2) A cheating partner may leave something from someone or somewhere you are unfamiliar with. Granted some people may think looking in your partner’s wallet goes “over the top” but I don’t. It’s only a wallet, not a diary. What would be in a wallet that a partner would not like you privy to in the first place (save something about a surprise birthday or special event), a condom when you two use a diaphragm?

3) The online world can become quite the carrot for the promiscuous rabbit. If you feel it necessary to check emails, well,

that may be an act you do once strange conflicts have been happening within your relationship beforehand.

4) The cheating spouse becomes short tempered frequently. They boil over what may be trivial matters. Their personality towards you has changed for the negative on an ongoing basis.

5) If there are phone numbers on your call display that you don’t recognize, call them. You can actually call your local phone company and ask for the outgoing call logs…

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If you know he’s cheating and saw him in action trying to get a fling, would you keep it a secret?
That happened to me. I remember the girl telling me. He and I had been dating for about 5 months and we thankfully didn’t have any children.

So instead of getting angry I thought we could get even.

We set him up. I wanted to hear first hand if this schmuck was really a schmuck.

So, …

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